Tin Can Robot

Breaking Madden

Jon Bois has spent all season trying to change Madden 25 from a mere football simulation to a weird and crazy fantasy world of ridiculous football characters. For the Breaking Madden Super Bowl season finale, he attempts to score 1000 points in a game:

For this, the season finale of Breaking Madden, there will be bitter cold and heavy snowfall. There will also be, Lord willing, the most one-sided result in the history of sports. In the greatest American football rout of historical record, Georgia Tech beat Cumberland College, 222-0. I want to multiply that. I want a thousand points in one game.

This is how we’re going to try.

Over the course of the season, I’ve discovered lots of different ways to hack Madden NFL 25 into a thing that no longer resembles football as we know it. I’ve played around with rules, injury settings, all manner of player ratings, player dimensions, and anything else the game’s developers have made available to us.

This time is special, though, because I’m pulling out every single one of the stops at the same time. No other scenario I’ve built in Madden has been so abjectly cruel or unfair; no other scenario has even been close.

This time is also special because we’ve saved all the good for the real world, and saved all the evil for the video game.

You should read the article if only to see the GIFs of a team of 7’0 400 lbs all-world players against a team of 5’0 160 lbs terrible players.